Earthbound
by Invader Xenial
Summary: Dah-dah-dah-daaaah! The exciting series continues! Join the entire cast of Invader Zim as they do stuff! Like: Going to the movies! Annoying each other! Eating snacks! Saving humanity! Destroying humanity! And discovering their love for each other! Psh! As if! Rated T because I fear things will happen... Horrible things...
1. Chapter 1

Zee sat in a pink beanbag chair, filing her claw. Isidar sat cross-legged with a blue computer in her lap. Zim was observing one of his experiments from a giant screen, while Hail sharpened his swords. Zone lay next to Isidar, snoring loudly. Gangali was hanging from the ceiling wires upside down, in an attempt to straighten his antennae. Tak was creating a 3-D model of a new ship, while MiMi in her cat disguise, sat curled up in her lap. GIR was eating a lollipop while the twins flexed their giant fists and Nikki picked a piece of food from her teeth.

Zee looked up and sighed. No one looked up. She sighed louder. No one noticed. Annoyed, she stood up and cried, "BOOOOORED!"

"Yes yes, that's fascinating." Zim mumbled. Zee rolled her eyes and flopped back onto her beanbag. She looked up to Isidar.

"Issi... Issiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..." She sang. Isidar looked up, annoyed.

"What?"

"I wanna do somethin'... Wanna go set fire to Dib's house?" She asked eagerly.

"Miss, I'm busy-"

"FINE!" Zee cried. Standing up, she glared at them all. "I'm going to go have an adventure. WITHOUT you!" She bolted from the room.

"Mmmhmmm." Tak mumbled.

_**I was suuuuuuper bored, so I decided to make this! Every few days I will write a short story on what the cast does in Zee's absence, whether it's an adventure or boring stuff, like talking about their feelings. *shudder* You decide! Review or PM your ideas. **_


	2. Food Army

Gang munched on buttered popcorn and plunked himself down on the couch. Clicking through the channels, he stuffed his fist into the bowl. He munched on a big handful, then frowned. He lifted a buttery claw and extracted a blue bulb from his mouth. Attached to the build was a silver antennae. And attached to that was the world's most annoying SIR unit.

"Hi there!" GIR giggled.

"Stop hiding in my popcorn!" Gang said, tossing GIR across the room. "How many times have I told you that?"

"Turquoise!" GIR replied.

Gang rolled his eyes and continued to eat. GIR plopped down next to him and pulled out a single, fluffy piece.

"No." Gang slapped his hand, making the piece fall back into the bowl.

GIR glared at him with cyan eyes. He tried taking another piece.

"No!" Gang said, his mouth full of popcorn. He slapped the little hand again, making him drop the piece.

GIR crossed his arms like a pouting child. "Hey look! It's Mary!" He cried, pointing to the window.

"Dib?" Gang said, confused. He turned to the window. "How'd he know I was here?" He turned back to see GIR running away with a handful of popcorn.

"COME BACK HERE YOU BRAT!" Gang cried, stumbling after him. GIR disappeared into the garbage can, and Gang dove after him.

Landing in the lab, Gang sprung to his feet.

"Where are you..." He muttered, tiptoeing cautiously through the dark hall. He heard a muffled giggle and looked up. GIR pelted him with the popcorn, getting butter all over his uniform and antennae.

"So that's how you wanna play..." Gang smirked. He bolted to the lab mini-fridge and pulled out a banana cream pie. GIR gasped and ran away as fast as he could, screaming like a piglet. Gang ran after him and threw the pie as hard as he could.

"What the Tallest are you two-" Tak popped her face from behind a tank. The pie hit her full-on in the face.

"Uh-oh..." Gang gulped.

Tak growled at him, her face steaming. She took an Irken soda out of her head and shook it as hard as she could.

"Now Tak, there's no need to do anything hasty..." Gang said nervously, slowly backing away from the fuming Irkeness.

In one move, Tak opened the can and sprayed the Noid with the fizzy drink.

She chased him around the lab, spraying it on his shirt, his face and the floor in front of him, making him slip spectacularly into a garbage shoot.

She doubled over in laughter, but was interrupted by a donut to the face. Gang smirked, tossing the treats into the air. He seemed to have found them in the trash.

The commotion alerted Hail, Zone, Isidar, Zim, GiGi, MiRR, MiMi and Nikki, and they all stared at the fight taking place.

"FOOD FIGHT!" The SIR twins screamed, pulling pies out of nowhere and stuffing them in each other's faces. Gang shoved a cherry pie into Zim's face, making his hands drip with blood-red juice. Zim glared at him with a burning hatred and wiped the juice from his face.

"Foolish creatures! ZIM SHALL WIN THIS BATTLE OF THE FOODS!" He screamed.

The other Irkens laughed and joined in, sending pastries flying. Hail deflected most incoming missiles with his sword, but Nikki got him in behind with a waffle. Zim launched muffin after muffin at his opponents, but none made it to their target, making him furious.

Gang laughed and brushed himself off, tired from the fight. He stumbled for the door when he was stopped by Isidar.

"Oh no you don't." She said, an evil glint in her eye. "We're not done yet..."

"Sorry Issi, I'm tired." Gang said, trying to pass her. She shoved mashed potatoes in his face, making him sputter. "Hey!"

""No one is finished yet..." She said eerily. Behind her, the Irkens and SIR units were picking up pieces of food and edging forwards him.

Now Gang began to panic. Shoving Isidar to the side, he bolted to the elevator. He caught a glimpse of the Food Army running after him as the doors closed. He stumbled out of the toilet and bolted from the house. He didn't know where to go. He glanced over his shoulder and saw them take out the neighbors with their edible missiles. He gasped and kept on running.

He ran to the only place he felt was the safest. Dib's house. Pounding on the door, he had a horrifying thought that the boy wasn't home. He sighed with relief when he opened the door.

"Gang? Are you okay?" Dib asked, taking in the blood-red liquid on Gang.s hands and his unusual nervous behaviour.

"Dib! You gotta help me!" Gang cried, kneeling in front of Dib. He grabbed his shirt with his dripping, red hands. "I didn't mean to, I swear! But it's out of control!"

"What is?" Dib asked, panicked. As an answer, Gang pointed a trembling finger to a small figure in the distance. Dib squinted at it to see more clearly.

"No... No!" Dib cried in horror. "It can't be!"

A tomato flew through the air, hitting Gang in the small of his back.

"No one is safe." Gang muttered, then slumped to the ground.

"Gang! Please don't leave me!" Dib cried, shaking the fallen Noid. There was no response. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dib cried, falling to his knees.

"Oh Dib-monkey..." A sing-songy voice called from down the road.

"No, get away!" Dib cried, running away as fast as he could. "Get away!"

He rounded a corner and nearly collided with the SIR twins. They both had the weird, evil glint in their eyes.

"Buy some apples..." They chorused, and pelted the boy with ruby red fruits.

/

The entire town was in ruin. Streets were covered in food stains, people had fallen in the streets. Even the Irkens and SIRs had fallen in the terrible battle, and they lay with the same smears of food as their victims.

Zee skipped merrily through town, oblivious to the signs of battle. She stopped in the middle of the street and finally looked around at the moaning humans and dilapidated buildings.

"Wait a second..." She muttered. "I FORGOT FREDERICK!" She screamed, and barreled through the streets to get back to the base.


	3. Crazy Love Potion

"Gang?" Dib called as he knocked on the door of the freaky green house. "Hello? Gaz is making beans. Again..." He finished in a mutter. Receiving no response, Dib opened the door. The living room was empty, and the creepy monkey stared at Dib as usual.

"Gang?" He called again. He closed the door behind him and walked to the kitchen. He stopped at the trash can and opened the hatch curiously. A powerful suction lifted the boy into the air and stuffed him into the can. His head got stuck for a moment, then he zoomed down the large tunnel, yelling like a maniac.

He rolled out of the tube and crashed into an experimenting table, sending the contents flying.

"GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Hail screamed, rushing into the room. "Oh. It's you." He said, looking at the boy with disgust. Dib rolled his eyes and turned off his disguise.

"Know where Gangali is?" He asked.

"In the stimulation room, playing Game Slave Two." Hail snapped, and turned on his heel to leave.

Dib spent half an hour wandering into different rooms, and being thrown out by an Irken, Noid or SIR unit in turn. Finally he crashed into the stimulation room, where Gangali was playing.

He wore a black cloak and had many battle scars, including a horrible-looking one on his cheek. His tunic and pants were torn, and he swung his green sword to ward of the flaming pigs.

Dib grabbed him by the antennae and dragged him from the room, ending the stimulation. Ignoring the Noid's constant cries of "Ow.", he dragged him over to the trash can tube.

"Come on!" Gang cried, yanking away from Dib. His battle persona was gone, and in it's place was a sour-looking Irken with gold eyes. "I almost beat my high score!"

"Don't care." Dib said rolling his eyes. "You gotta tell me before you disappear like that, what if someone saw you?"

"Then they would see this." Gang said, pressing the center of a blue bracelet. The Irken disappeared, and a dirty blond boy with golden-brown eyes took his place. He wore a grey T-shirt and blue jeans with black shoes.

"I look good as a human." Gang said smugly. Dib rolled his eyes and turned on his own disguise.

"Let's go." He said, but Gang ignored him. The Noid picked up one of two bubbly pink drinks on a nearby table and began to tip it into his mouth.

"Don't! You don't know what it is!" Dib cried, lunging for it.

Gang smirked at him as he placed it back on the table. "You're scared of the Irkens."

"I am not!" Dib cried indignantly. "I just don't want you to die of some... alien food poisoning."

"Do you care about lil' ol' me?" Gang asked, his eyes wide.

"Yes I do." Dib said reluctantly. It was true. Gang was like the little brother he had never had. And never really wanted.

"Then you drink it!" Gang cried, snatching back the glass.

"No!" Dib pushed it away.

"Then I will..." Gang tilted it dangerously close to his mouth.

"FINE!" Dib snatched the glass.

Gang watched with wide eyes as Dib stared nervously at the glass, then tilted it back and swallowed a tiny gulp.

"How's it taste?" Gang whispered.

"Like cream soda." Dib said happily, and gulped down the glass.

Gang slapped Dib on the back in congratulations, then shoved him up the trash can tube. He laughed as Dib swore at him, then jumped after the boy.

/

Gang and Dib walked down the street, Gang smirking at a sour Dib.

"See? It wasn't so bad." Gang said smugly.

"Mmhmm." Dib muttered. He felt weird. He clutched his stomach as it gurgled unpleasantly.

"Now you see why I hang out there so much. It's full of surprises." Gang continued, oblivious to Dib's discomfort. They reached Dib's house and Gang plopped on the couch, annoying Gaz greatly.

"Hey Dib, wanna watch? Mysterious Mysteries is on." Gang called.

"No... No I'm okay." Dib muttered and headed up the stairs. He just needed a nap... then maybe his stomach would feel better.

He fell asleep before his head hit the pillows.

/

"FreddyFreddyFreddyFreddyFreddyFreddyFreddyFreddy, " Zee chanted, bolting through the base.

"Miss, what are you doing?" An annoyed Isidar asked.

"I CAN'T GO ON AN ADVENTURE WITHOUT FREDERICK!" Zee screamed, digging through a pile of tools.

"Your plushie?" Isidar asked flatly.

"Yes!" Zee cried. She pulled out a creepy looking doll from under a holding tank. It had two black, bulging eyes, two rounded ears and poorly stitched limbs. It gave off an unsettling feeling when Isidar looked at it.

"That thing gives me the creeps..." Isidar shuddered as Zee squeezed it happily.

"Ooooh! Soda!" Zee cried, gulping down the second fizzy drink that Gang and Dib saw earlier. She wiped her mouth and jumped back up the trash can tube, shooting her up to the kitchen.

"Let's go Frederick!" She cried, and made a beeline for the door. She fell flat on her face when she reached the couch, and snored loudly from the floor.

/

"WHO DRANK THIS?" Zim screeched, holding up the two empty glasses.

"Miss Zee drank one of them." Isidar said in a bored voice. Zim's screaming had attracted the alien's attention, and they stood in a semi-circle around him.

"And Dib drank the other." Gang said, dropping from the ceiling.

"I thought you went home." Hail said incredulously.

"I came back." Gang shrugged.

"No no no, this is not good! This is bad!" Zim muttered frantically, massaging his temples.

"Why? Is my mistress in danger?" Isidar asked nervously.

"That concoction makes the drinker thoroughly obsessed with the other drinker! They will not part from each other's company, they will make others feel uncomfortable around them!" Zim cried hysterically.

"Huh?" Gang asked stupidly.

"It was a love potion." Zim said crossly. "Now Zee and the Dib-stink will be," Zim gulped. "A couple!"

/

Zee woke up on the floor with a dreamy look on her face. "Dibby..." She muttered. Dropping Frederick, she stumbled out the door.

In his bed, Dib woke up with the same expression. "Zee..." He walked clumsily out the door to meet her.

At the Skool, they saw each other and grinned. They ran into each other's arms and kissed romantically.

"Oh Dibby, I love you!" Zee said, a dopey grin on her face.

"I love you too, Zeeby Weeby." He said, and held her close.

"NOOOOO! We're too late!" Zim cried, sinking to his knees when he saw the couple.

"We have to do something! My Zee cannot love that horrid creature!" Isidar cried, disguised as a brunette replica of Zee.

"He's not that bad." Gretchen piped up from a nearby bench.

"Your pigtails are stupid!" Zim shouted at her, making her run away crying.

"Do you have an antidote?" Hail asked nervously as the happy couple rubbed noses together.

"Not yet. TO THE LAB!" Zim cried epicly, and a grinning Zim face zoomed up to block the readers from viewing anything.

The face retreated, and the aliens were seen in their lab, Zim mixing various ingredients together.

"I got it!" Zim cried, holding up two test tubes of black goo.

"How're we gonna get them to drink it?" Nikki asked.

/*Grinning Zim face again*/

"Couple lemonade! Couple lemonade!" Zim called from a poorly made lemonade stand. Nikki beamed eagerly beside him and Hail looked on nervously as the others stared at him in hatred. The aliens all wore mustaches to conceal their identity. "Only to buy if you have a love-pig!" Zim called as Dib noticed the stand.

"Let's get some Sugarlump!" He said dreamily. She nodded and kissed his cheek as they approached the stand.

"Two please." Dib said, placing a five dollar bill on the table.

"Yes sir!" Zim said, leaning down to get the Antidote. The glasses were empty.

GIR in his doggy costume puked about a yard away.

"That lemonade tasted like fish tacos!" He groaned.

"I thought you liked tacos." Nikki said curiously.

"Not fish tacos. I hate fish tacos." GIR muttered darkly.

Zim growled and straightened up. "We are out of lemonade-" He began gruffly, then he screamed like a little girl. Zee and Dib had started making out. The aliens fled the scene in horror, all of them screaming like banshees.

/*Grinning Zim face again*/

"That was HORRIBLE!" Zim said after a thorough puking session. The Irkens all looked a little grey after what happened.

"What now?" Nikki asked, wiping her mouth.

"Now," Hail said, loading a blowdart gun. "We hunt."

"I am so glad we are only partially involved in this story." Gang said to Tak as he aliens rushed outside. They sat in the corner with the SIR twins, Zone and MiMi, eating popcorn.

"You bet." She replied, and they all high-fived.

/*Grinning Zim face again*/

The Irkens sat crouched on the roof of Dib's house, Hail manning the blowdart gun. Each dart was filled with antidote, but they only had four shots.

Dib and Zee came into view, giggling and holding hands.

"I am really glad we got back together." Dib said happily.

"Me too. This way, we won't have any cartoonish conflict in our lives!" Zee giggled and kissed his nose.

"DIE DIE DIE!" Hail cried, shooting the couple in the chest and neck. They stared at them for a second, then at each other, and broke apart with disgust.

Zim, Isidar and Nikki stared at the warrior in shock. He coughed nervously and walked away.

"Well that was anti-climactic." Nikki said as they jumped down from the house.

"We... dated?" Dib said shakily. Zee nodded slowly, and he ran away screaming.

"Zee?" Isidar asked. "How do you feel?"

Zee stared at her blankly for a moment, then gasped. "FREDERICK!" She screamed, then barreled down the street.

"We were kinda like a team back there." Nikki said eagerly. "We should hang out more often!"

Isidar and Zim glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

"No way! Zim needs no one! NO ONE!" Zim cried.

"Sweet thought kid, but it ain't gonna happen." Isidar said, and started walking down the street with Zim, leaving Nikki alone.

"Oh well." She sighed. "Wanna go shoot some more?" She asked Hail, who had suddenly appeared at her side.

"Sure." He shrugged, and followed her to the park.


	4. DiVoRcE

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," Dipper complained as he was dragged by his ear into an Irken courthouse.

"Shut up! You're upset the smeets!" His wife, F-Zin hissed. Her face, once a bright, healthy green, was now sickly pale, and she had lots of freckles on her cheeks.

"No he won't!" Galaxy called. She and her brother stumbled stubbornly into the hall after their mother.

"It's your fault we're here anyway." F-Zin continued, holding her head high and releasing him.

"You cheated on me!" Dipper cried indignantly.

"And he's been the only thing to keep us sane." Nebula muttered.

"You said it!" Zee cried, waving Frederick in his face.

"Why the he'll did you bring her?" Dipper asked in a hushed voice as the smeets giggled at Zee.

"She's better than Daddy. He'd blow up the place!" F-Zin whispered hoarsely back. They opened the doors to the courtroom, and took places on their own sides. Zee and the smeets sat in the back, staring at the grand hall.

"All rise for the honourable Judge Dookie." An automated voice boomed, and a brown-eyed Irken male rose from the floor.

"Greetings Irken Zin." He smiled at her. He turned to Dipper and narrowed his eyes. "Human Dipper."

Dipped crossed his arms, a sour expression on his face.

"Let's see here..." He shuffled through some notes as he took his seat. "You two are asking for a divorce, and custody of your smeets."

"Why can't we stay with Zee?" Galaxy called. Zee nodded eagerly.

"Because she's insane!" F-Zin called back.

"Oi! Say that again to my face!" Zee cried, lunging for her step-daughter. Nebula and Galaxy held her back as she swiped at the air.

"Ahem." Dookie cleared his throat. The couple turned to face him again. "Zin, it says here that Galaxy and Nebula aren't Dipper's real smeets. Is this true?"

"Yes." F-Zin smirked as Dipper glared at her. "I found a better love-pig. HE likes my parents!" She snapped at Dipper.

"They tried to kill me!" He snapped back.

"ORDER!" Dookie called. The couple glared at him furiously.

"If the smeets aren't yours, Dipper, then they fall into Zin's custody." Dookie said with finality. Dipper bowed his head and shed a manly tear.

"Heheheh..." F-Zin cackled, cracking her knuckles.

"However." Dookie announced. "Zin, you cheated on your husband. Your smeets acknowledge this claim." He nodded to Galaxy and Nebula.

"I'M HERE TOO!" Zee called.

"Which leads to now. Zin, as a member of the Irken Armada, you obviously have a superior status to that of your husband."

"How does being Irken make her better than me?" Dipper snapped.

The Irkens laughed at him, making him angrier.

"Silly human!" Zee snickered.

"However, you violated the Intergalactic Marriage Law." Dookie continued. "'Till death do us part.'"

F-Zin curled her claws into tight fists.

"Therefore, in the name of the Empire, you are sentenced to three years on Dirt as punishment." Dookie said with finality.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" F-Zin lunged for Dipper, her claws closing around his throat.

"Order! Miss Zin! Please!" Dookie panicked.

"You thought you could hide it from me?" F-Zin spat, her eyes wild. Dipper was choking, and turning a pale blue. "Huh? You and WENDY?"

Suddenly, the left wall crashed to the floor, sending debris flying. Zim, Tak, Hail, Skoodge, Zone, Isidar, Dib, GiGi, MiRR, GIR, Nikki, MiMi, Gaz and Gang stampede into the courtroom, firing laser beams at each other from PAK legs, guns or, in the case of the SIR units, from their heads.

"WHAT THE BLOODY IRK IS GOING ON?" Dookie screamed. The gang of Irkens and Units looked up at him.

"It's pizza night." Hail shrugged.

"What?" Dookie sputtered.

"We're deciding on what toppings." Isidar said calmly.

"Oh. Carry on then." Dookie waved them away. The gang marched away and resumed their fight.

"Now, where were- Where is Zin?" Dookie realised. Dipper, Nebula, Galaxy and Zee looked around for the freckled Irken. Outside, there was the cry of "TAXI!"

The Irkens and Dipper bolted outside to see F-Zin hop into an Irken taxi and fly away, cackling madly.

"Oh well. Wanna go get pizza?" Zed asked, activating her PAK legs.

They nodded, and went to join the fight. Dipper shook his head in disbelief.

"Irkens sure are a weird species..." He mumbled, and jogged after them.


	5. Shopping Spree!

Nikki yawned and rubbed her eyes. She arched her back, and smiled when it cracked.

"What a good nap…" She murmured.

"Blood of mine, Zim is happy you are refreshed." Zim said, a pleasant smile on his face.

"Thank you, daddy." Nikki smiled sleepily.

"Could you do me one small favour?" he asked, the smile disappearing.

"What's that?"

"GET OFF MY HEAD!" Zim screeched.

Nikki grumbled and climbed off of Zim, allowing him to finally stretch his neck.

She yawned and walked over to the elevator that led to the kitchen. She rose up from the toilet, groggy and disoriented. She took a step and fell flat on her face. Scooting on her stomach, she reached the fridge. She opened the door and widened her eyes in surprise. GiGi and MiRR sat in the fridge, covered in food. MiRR burped and smiled at Nikki.

"Hiya, Frank!" He said.

"Did you guys eat all of the food?" Nikki asked incredulously.

As an answer, GiGi shoved a rubber piggy in Nikki's face. She sighed and pushed herself up to a sitting position. Her belly grumbled loudly, and she squeezed it tightly.

"Hmm….. Daddy says the Earth has food… _Bad _food, but stil…."

The twins cocked their heads to the side, curious. Nikki beamed at them.

"Who's up for a _shopping spree?!" _She cried.

"YEAH!" The twins cried.

***_Insert Montage Music here. I ain't choosing for ya. _**

**_Got the music? No? I'll wait…._**

**_…_**

**_…._**

**_…_**

**_Got it yet? DON'T CARE, LET'S GO!*_**

Nikki borrowed her dad's Voot, making herself a disguise with a brown wig and green contacts. She giggled as she looked at herself in the mirror.

The SIR twins shoved her out of the way, picking their own disguises. MiRR became a purple rabbit, GiGi becoming a pink one. Their ears were floppy, and their eyes were too big. They looked like bad stuffed animals, but they didn't care. They hopped after Nikki as the trio raced around the lab.

**_*Montage is over. Go home.*_**

"DADWE'REGOINGOUTI'MSTEALINGYOURMONIESAHMGONNAEATF OODBAI!" Nikki cried, rushing past Zim.

"Yes, be careful with the mercury samples…" he muttered, absorbed in his experiment. Nick, the Happiness Probe Boy, grinned at him from a purple tank.

Nikki and the twins arrived at the town mall, and they beamed at each other in amazement. There was so many shops, selling so many different things! GiGi bolted for a toy shop, MiRR hopped into a pet store, and Nikki went to buy as much food as she could. Three hours later, Nikki hobbled to a bench, carrying the largest pile of food any human had ever seen. MiRR was thrown unceremoniously from the pet store for trying to eat the anials, and GiGi rode a toy train all the way to the bench.

Nikki licked her lips and dove into the pile. Oh, it was delicious! Cheesy pizza, golden French Fries, toasty warm donuts. Nikki licked her fingers and patted her bulging tummy. She noticed MiRR nibbling on a hot dog and sat upright.

"What's that?" She asked eagerly.

MiRR stared at her blankly, then to the dog in his hand. "I dunno… Food?"

"Good enough for me." She smirked, snatching the hot dog out of his hand and swallowed it whole. She grinned and belched loudly.

"Frankie, no!" GiGi cried, looking horrified. "That's the same stuff that Daddy's master hates!"

"What's so bad about it?" Nikki asked, confused.

"It sizzles like a pork chop!" MiRR cried.

Nikki gasped. "It'll burn my flesh?" _Wow, I spend way too much time with these guys. _She thought. Then she clutched her stomach and cried out in pain.

/

Zim hummed quietly as he slurped a soda. Plunking himself down on the couch, he glared at the Angry Monkey.

"Zim hates this show. Must….. change…. channel…." He reached for the remote, which was sitting on the TV. "Meh." He dropped his arm and continued to slurp his drink.

"DADDY MASTER! HELP!" The Twins screamed, opening the door with a bang. They were holding up a moaning Nikki with their giant fists.

"What happened!? What did you do to her?!" Zim cried, leaping off the couch. He snatched up the girl from their hands and held her like a child.

"Sweet Nikki, what did these demons do to you?" He demanded, holding her close.

"Ate… hot dog…" She muttered.

"Why on Irk would you do that!? Has Zim not warned you about the dangers of Earth?" He cried, furious with her. She moaned in response, and his expression softened.

"Computer! Take us to the Hospital Wing!" Zim cried.

"_We have a Hospital Wing?" _The Computer asked.

"COMPUTER!"

_"Fine…"_ A hatch on the floor opened, taking the Irkens down below.

/

Zim paced outside the medical room nervously. The twins were curled up together in fear.

"She gonna 'splode?" GiGi whispered to her brother.

"I hope not…" Came his reply.

"How ust longer shall we wait?" Zim snapped.

"_Three minutes, Master. Exactly thirty seconds after the last time you asked." _The Computer said irritably.

"This is taking too long!" Zim growled. "My smeet is deathly ill!"

"_She'll be fine. I have the most capable medical-" _Computer began.

"I AM COMING NIKKI!" Zim burst through the medical doors. He shoved the mechanical tools that were examining her out of the way, and began a bio-scan on his daughter. His face dripped with sweat as he worked, nervously checking her vitals. He became aware of GIR playing the _Final Countdown_ from a speaker on his head. The small unit giggled nervously and bolted.

Finally, Zim was done. He knelt over Nikki as she stirred.

"How are you feeling, smeet-thing?" He asked softly.

"Fine." She shrugged. "Hey, why am I in the medical wing?"

"You ate a hot dog and the twins brought you back here. It was Zim's AMAZINGNESS that saved you."

"_Incorrect._" Computer boomed.

"Zim is never wrong. I AM ZIM!" Zi screamed.

"_Yes master."_ Computer grumbled. "But _Nikki was never in any danger. Look…"_ He lowered a screen for Zim to examine.

"But… This makes no sense…" Zim muttered.

_"No, it's true. The hot dog she ate was made entirely of napkins."_ Computer announced.

"Then why did my stomach hurt so much?" Nikki demanded.

_"The tests say you ate thirty pounds of junk food in five minutes. That's enough to make anyone sick." _Computer said matter-of-factly.

"Well, at least it's all over." Zim sighed. "Isn't that right Nikki?" He turned around to face his daughter. She was gone.

"Nikki?" Zim called, looking around.

"_Sir, she's running out the door with your wallet_." Computer said, showing a video of Nikki screaming like a maniac about chocolate.

"She will be the death of me…" Zim muttered as he grabbed his wig and contacts.


	6. Nikki's Super Detective Adventure!

Nikki lay upside down on the couch, flicking through the TV channels.

"Boring... Boring... really boring..." She muttered.

"Please Tak? I can't do it alone." Hail's voice carried from the kitchen. Nikki's antennae perked up, and she sat up straight to listen.

"You know I'm not ready for this. People will laugh at us!" Tak replied angrily.

"No they won't. If you do this, I'll do anything you want."

"Anything?" Tak said slyly.

Nikki was shocked. She flung herself off the couch and bolted over to the coffee table. It rose up for her to dive into the lab.

She tumbled out of the tube to see Isidar and Zone arguing over something. She ran right past them to the SIR twin's room.

"GiGi! MiRR! You'll never guess what just happened!" She said eagerly.

"A flaming peacock burst out of a flower to tell you your destiny!" MiRR guessed.

"The Almighty Floor finally made Daddy a sandwich!" Was GiGi's guess.

"What? No." Nikki looked puzzled. "Hail and Tak were talking to each other all weird-like."

"How weird? A unicorn in a unitard riding a unicycle weird?" MiRR said.

"No, like they were planning something together." Nikki said in a whisper.

"THEY'RE GONNA BLOW UP THE MOON!" GiGi gasped. MiRR looked horrified.

"Uh... I suddenly remembered why I usually don't hang out with you." Nikki walked out of the room, shaking her head.

"Now... onto the mystery..." Nikki pulled out a detective glass.

_It was the sixteenth of September. The wind was turning crisp in the anticipation of the coming fall._ Nikki's voice narrated as she stared out the house window, staring at the Earth sun.

_I knew them from way back, Hail and Tak. They were there in the Earth Invasion of '013._ Nikki stuffed her hands in her pockets and turned away from the window.

_But I wasn't blind. Sorry Hail._ She added, looking embarrassed. _I knew something was going on between them. But what?_

Nikki then proceeded to have a quick montage of searching the lab for clues. She checked the lab table. She searched the Irken's rooms, but was thrown out by a furious Hail, who seemed to be polishing his swords with a fond look on his face. She searched through Zee's drawers, but fled the room screaming in terror when Frederick suddenly appeared in front of her. Nikki checked the room later, but Frederick was gone. She checked the fridge, under the couch and even in Computer's database.

She finally slumped in Zim's lab chair, looking defeated.

She saw a Poop Can on the floor and kicked it away from her. "This is hopeless. How am I supposed to figure this out if I can't find any clues?" The can rolled along, then stopped suddenly. Nikki looked up. It was stopped by a little silver book in the middle of the room.

"How the Tallest did I miss that?"She murmured, walking over and picking it up. She sat back down in Zim's chair and began to read. Her ruby eyes went wide. "It's a book full of love songs... about Tak!"

"DUN DUN DUUUUUN!" GIR gasped.

"Go find a pink ostrich." Nikki waved him away.

"I did that yesterday!" He stomped away, looking grumpy.

Nikki closed the book gingerly and slipped it into the pocket of her uniform. "Hail likes Tak..." She murmured. Then she grinned and leapt off the chair, leaving it spinning.

She popped her head into Tak's room. "Hullo?" She called. Receiving no answer, she grinned and stepped inside.

MiMi sat on Tak's bed in her cat form. She yawned at Nikki and stretched arching her back.

"Hey MiMi." Nikki smiled, scratching her behind the ears, the way she liked it. Nikki smiled softly as MiMi purred, then noticed Tak's guitar leaning on the wall. She picked it up and examined it. On a sticky note were Hail's lyrics, written by Tak.

"But... but..." Nikki stared from the note to the book sticking out of her pocket. "Why..."

"Figure it out, darling. It's not hard." MiMi said in her automatic voice, still purring. "Hail's lyrics, on her guitar. As if she wanted to remember them."

"Of course..." Nikki gasped and bolted from the room.

"Mmhmm..." MiMi yawned.

Nikki stood up on a lab table, beaming. "Everyone, I have an announcement." She said proudly. Zone and Gang rolled their eyes.

"Attention!" She yelled, drawing all the Irkens, Noids and SIRs to crowd around her.

Everyone stared at her as she continued."Will Hail and Tak please come hither." The said people then walked to her."I learned... THAT TAK AND HAIL ARE A COUPLE!" Nikki said, screaming the last part. Almost everyone's eyes were wide, but MiMi only giggled while Zim chuckled.  
Nikki stared at them before asking, "Did get it right?"

"Almost," started Hail. He looked solemn. "You see... Tak's smeet tube got active... and it has my claw tip inside it."

The crowd gasped, looking shocked. Hail, teary-eyed, wrapped his arm around Tak's shoulders. "And we got married a week ago."

Tak growled and slapped him hard in the face. He recoiled, laughing. MiMi hissed and scratched his other cheek. He stumbled backwards into Isidar, who slapped him too.

"Ouchies..." He grumbled, running his sore cheek. "Fine, fine." He turned to a confused Nikki. "I got a gig at the Vort prison to sing to the inmates. But they wanted a duet. So I asked Tak." He said, still wincing.

"I refused." Tak said proudly.

"Yeah. So I said she'd owe me one." Said Hail. "And..."

"Don't." Tak threatened. Hail winked at her.

"Mistress wanted him to play her a song." MiMi snickered.

"MiMi!" Tak growled. The cat smiled at her.

Nikki grinned, stepping down from the table. "I got it right!"

"We aren't a couple." They chorused.

Nikki just giggled, thoroughly angering them. Then she walked away, smiling to herself.

_Yeah, things were going all right. Zee wasn't the only one who could like someone._ Nikki's voice narrated as she headed back to her own room.

A few days later...

"Hey, Niks!" Hail said, stepping into her room. "My son's coming over for a few days. He's about your age."

"What's his name?" Nikki asked, petting MiMi, who was sitting on her lap.

"Sketch." He grinned.

"HAIL!" Tak screeched. He turned to the sound of the noise. Tak stormed right up to him, fuming.

"What did you do?" She snarled.

"What?" He said, looking genuinely surprised.

"I checked up on the Smeetery, just to check on my tube." She said, her antennae stiffening. "Any idea what I found?"

"No." He said honestly.

"My Tube was opened. And a claw tip was found." She snapped.

"What?" Hail sputtered.

"DUN DUN DUUUUUN!" GIR gasped.


End file.
